Do You Want Me?
by Skylark Evanson
Summary: "Did you know what you were getting into when you asked me out?"


**A/N: I figured I needed another one-shot for Bade. Without another episode to watch, I'm kinda fallin' behind and all…. So yeah. Here's a songfic to one of the songs I find perfect for the pairing.**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Victorious. Song is by Hilary Duff**

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**_Do You Want Me?_**

_**I cry like a baby when I don't get my way**  
**Do you want me?**_

When he asked me out, I didn't think he quite understood all the baggage that I came with. I thought he figured I was just one of those girls that would come and go like everyone else seemed to do in this stupid school. So I kind of figured that maybe I could hang onto him for a while. Maybe he could patch me back up from all the times I had fallen down.

**_I won't apologize when I make a mistake  
Do you want me?_**

Beck did so much more than that. He fixed me up really well. He made it so that I could finally live again.

**_I got scars on my heart and they won't go away  
Looking for someone to take them from me_**

Beck was good enough to me to make me stick around him longer. He kept me coming back for more, no matter how many times we hit a block or a bump in the road. For some reason, I could never pull myself away from him. I had become too dependent on him. Beck had become more of a drug than a lover, but it made me love him even more.

**_Everybody knows I'm a little insane  
Do you want me?_**

And as I fell for him a little more each day, I kept on giving him those subtle reminders of how bad I was. "You do know that I won't apologize," I tell him. "I have a lot of baggage." I had a feeling I'd be sticking with him longer than either of us could either imagine and I wasn't about to let him go on being left in the dark about who I really was and what all was under this outer hardcore shell. "Are you sure you even want to look at me?"

**_Oh, I try to be normal  
I try to put one foot in front of the other_**

He always gave me a sly little smile. "I know what I'm getting myself into and I'm ready to dive in headfirst. You got that?"

And I usually went silent after that. As long as he knew, I wasn't going to try to get him to break up with me, despite how he was too good for me. I let him go on dating me, despite the fact that I was all too wrong for him. He was just too easy, too transparent, too open… I was everything he wasn't and I wanted him more than even I knew.

**_And I feel  
You don't even know I'm alive  
I open my mouth cause I'm waiting for your love to fall from the sky_**

It was like he could give me anything. He made me feel invincible. And I already had a massive ego problem. Having Beck being my boyfriend was like tossing fuel into a raging inferno and screaming bloody murder as it ate you alive.

Yeah, he did that to me. He made me feel so strong.

**_And I feel  
You think that I'm out of my mind  
And maybe your scared to be right_**

Beck never bothered to be afraid of me. He was always there for me and he would always comfort me. He was perfect on so many levels. He was mine. And he didn't even know who I was. No one did. Not until Beck got through to me. As soon as he broke through, I was his open book.

**_But you'll never know till you get me alone  
__Do you want me?_**

Somehow, he broke me. He made me go soft. The way his lips always found mine and the way his dark eyes glimmered when he saw me. The way he glistened when he was shirtless in the middle of sunlight. Beck was easily the hottest guy at school.

And for some stupid reason, I was the girl lucky enough to stay by his side.

**_I tell it to you straight so we can't get worse  
Do you want me?_**

We understood each other. I'm still not sure how that worked since I hardly ever talked and he was such a great listener, but I loved the way it was when we figured each other out for the first time. It was great to be able to finish his sentence for the first time. I loved just knowing that he was there and that I had him and he was never out of reach.

**_I want to show you me but first things first  
Do you want me?_**

And as we're walking back from another long date as we're in our senior year of high school, both going off to the same college in a couple months, I just needed to ask him one thing. "Beck?"

His eyes just flicker to me, his signal of acknowledgement for my calling of his name. And his hand found mine, drawing me closer to him. And I couldn't help the chill that ran down my spine. How I kept him all those years is still a mystery. He should've run off when he found out how much trouble I would get him into. But he didn't. His loyalty always overran everything else. And he was loyal to me and me alone. That was why I learned to love him so much. "Did you know what you were getting into when you asked me out?"

**_I'm looking for a savior to save my soul  
All the damage I have done has left a big hole_**

He seemed to mull it over for a moment, ideas clearly bouncing around in that head of his. Beck runs one hand through his hair, staring up at the night sky that hangs over us, stars suspended in the blackness as if by tiny invisible strings. "Yeah, I knew you weren't the average kind of girl, Jade." Then his soft gaze turned to me. "Back then, it was a challenge. I wanted to see if I could just get you to go out with me. Then I realized you were totally serious about everything and then I started to kind of see things through your eyes. And I started falling for you." A thin smile presses across his lips, making my heart skip a beat. "Let's just say I forgot my safety net that day."

**_Everybody knows I just want someone to hold  
Do you want me?_**

And he had turned into my safety net. He had been the one to pick me up when I fell. He had been the one to keep me protected from myself and my nightmares and my own worst enemy. He was the one who watched over me, my savior.

**_Oh, I try to be easy  
I try to put one foot in back of the other  
__And I feel  
You don't even know I'm alive_**

He told me more than once that he had hardly considered me to be worth his time at first, but once he saw I had more than darkness, that I had depth, he really did start to look at me with new eyes. He treated me better. Beck was always a gentleman, but he really took care of me once he saw who I was under the blankets of armor and defenses I had put up around myself.

**_I open my mouth cause I'm waiting for your love to fall from the sky  
And I feel  
You think that I'm out of my mind  
And maybe your scared to be right_**

Beck knew who I was before I even knew who I was. And for that, he was the one who got to carry me for the rest of my life. He was the one who kept on picking me back up with the same patience he had always shown me. Whenever I was overprotective of him, he got a bit restless but I always explained how it was only because I loved him. I always told him it was just because I wanted him to be mine and only mine. He wasn't gullible. He knew I was being honest. And I was.

**_But you'll never know till you get me alone_**

He learned who I was. I learned about him. I learned the way his lips curved up with a smile. I learned the sparkle in his eyes. I learned his jealous stare. I learned the way he flipped his hair out of his eyes. I learned the stuff he liked. I learned Beck faster than I learned anything else. He became a second nature to me. And it was all because we tried something different for a moment that would last us a lifetime.

**_You're looking at me strange like you don't know my name_**

I showed Beck every day how much I really cared for him. I let him inside of my own realm. I went out of my comfort zone just to make him happy. I gave him every piece of my heart and prayed that he wouldn't drop it. I didn't want to fall again. Because if I fell because of him, I wouldn't have the heart to pull myself back up again.

**_You're looking at me strange like you don't know my name  
You're looking at me strange like it's some kind of phase  
You're looking at me strange like you want me to change_**

"I knew what I was doing when I told you I loved you," he said to me. "I knew that you'd call me crazy." His addictive smile is shining through. "And I did it anyways." His eyes shimmer and they make me want to melt into his arms more than ever. "Because I meant it, Jade."

My heart hammered in my chest as I fell into him. He held me, holding me up from falling. I couldn't fall. He never let me fall.

**_And I feel  
You don't even know I'm alive  
I open my mouth cause I'm waiting for your love to fall from the sky_**

Beck always told me he knew what he was doing. And for some reason, I trusted him. I probably shouldn't have because he always seemed to be able to create something with some sort of calm air to it. That was just Beck. He knew how to do everything and he knew how to do it right. That was something I hated him for. He was always so perfect when compared to me. He always managed to come off as the perfect boyfriend with the messed up girlfriend that needed him more than air.

**_And I feel  
You think that I'm out of my mind  
And maybe your scared to be right  
But you'll never know till you get me alone  
Do you  
Do you  
Do you want me?_**

"Are you sure you want to keep me?" I hate asking him that, but I need to know if we want to keep this up. I mean, it's been a long time and even I've had moments where I wanted someone else for a while there, but I kept him close.

**_Do you  
Do you  
Do you want me?_**

"That's like asking me if I want to live without you or not." And he leans in, lips pressing to my forehead in that comforting way that makes me succumb to his powers of keeping me in love with him forever and ever and making me never want to let go. Because he's just that distracting and because I just love him that much. "I never want to leave you, Jade."

**_You'll never know till you get me alone  
__Do you  
Do you  
Do you want me?  
__Do you want me?_**

"No matter how annoying you can be, no matter how irritating, no matter how much baggage you come with, I will always want you, Jade West."

**_Do you want me?_**

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**A/N: Ah, I think that turned out pretty nice. Review!**

**~Sky**


End file.
